Mom’s having her right hip replaced today. This makes #3, and I hope she doesn’t have any more trouble with it.
On the lighter side:
A snail, tired of his reputation for being slow, buys a 280-Z, but has the Z painted into an S, so that everyone would know, as he zooms past, who’s driving. And it worked, upon seeing him race past everyone would say, “Look at that S-car go!”
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says “Why the long face?”
Woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the bartender gave her one.
What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.